With friends like this - don't go out alone at night, Nick!!
'Sanctimonious and Petty', 'dull mediocrity', 'lame chicken', 'self important malcontents' and 'character assassins'.
These are just a few of the charming epithets used by Surrey Heath Conservatives either about their MP, Nick Hawkins or about each other in the local press recently. The accusations and denials of racism on Mr Hawkin's part appear to complete the picture of the condition of the Tory party in Surrey Heath.
What conclusions should Surrey Heath constituency residents draw from all this?
Firstly, irrespective of one's views of today's Conservative Party, it has played a major part in the history of this country, providing many great national and international figures. Disraeli, Churchill, MacMillan and their considerable achievements spring readily to mind. It is difficult to conceive that the bitterness and back-biting featured in last week's press came from members of the same Party as these great figures. But perhaps, it is the legacies left by Thatcher, Major and Duncan-Smith that have replaced 'One Nation' Conservatism with the petty personal bickering, abuse and self seeking which have characterised the Camberley News and The Star in recent weeks.
Secondly, both factions seem to be seeking to out do each other in how unpleasant they can be to each other. Surely most sensible thinking and balanced people will respond to all this with the clichéd but totally appropriate, "A plague on both your houses"?
Finally, residents might wonder why anybody should actually think of voting for ANY of these people in Surrey Heath? If Nick Hawkins goes forward to the next Election he will be disowned and - not too strong a word - hated, by key members of his own local party. If he is de-selected, how can the voters put any faith in a new candidate selected by a local Executive which selected Nick Hawkins some nine years ago and then selected him AGAIN for the 2001 General Election but THEN decided he was no good either as an MP or a Conservative?
Perhaps Messrs Hawkins, Harper and/or Cleverly - depending who 'wins' the battle of the Surrey Heath Tories - could brighten the rather gloomy Surrey Heath Conservative website by explaining on it - perhaps on the page where Mr Hawkins is looking particularly miserable (maybe because the page hasn't been updated since 2000) - just why ANYBODY would want to vote for ANY of them after this fiasco? Surely Margaret Thatcher would think twice about voting Tory in Surrey Heath at the moment?!
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